Most folks know that my husband and I are passionate about the ministry of fostering and adoption. So, when our church recently partnered with Laurens County DSS to come alongside them and serve them, we were both excited for opportunities to jump in and help. One particular opportunity stands out to both us from this past spring.
Our church took a group of volunteers to the DSS office in Laurens County to spend a few hours there cleaning the rooms, giving donations of items they needed, and doing some other repair work on and around their property. Dan wanted to take our two boys, Jacob and Christopher, along for the serving day. If looking at this from the outside only, it appeared to be as simple as two young boys serving because they were signed up for a service project by their parents. However, when we slow down to take a closer look at what God is doing on the inside of their hearts, we can see God doing a mighty work. We can see how God used this experience, joined with many others, to shape our boys into the young men who God wants them to be.
Almost four years ago to the day of the "Just Serve" day with our church, our two boys found themselves in a similar environment of the DSS office in another county. It was a day of trauma, confusion, and a lot of fear for both of them. For many years, when our boys heard the word DSS, they had some strong emotions of anger associated with it and would refer to them as "bad people". Through time, maturity, and healing, I can now say that they see the process of fostering and even the work that DSS does a little differently. While we believe that their experience will resurface and cause pain in their lives, we also believe that God is in the process of giving our boys a testimony to share with others who go through a similar life event. We have already seen small pieces of this beginning to unfold in their lives.
About seven months ago, we opened our home again to fostering. Dan and I walked into the situation with open eyes and hearts in order to be aware of how this could and would impact our boys. At that point, Jacob and Chris had been adopted for almost a year into our family. While they seemed to be adjusted, as we discuss often and openly the reasons for their adoption, we knew this event could reopen some past wounds for them. While keeping that in the forefront of our mind, we opened our home up to a seven year old little girl. As expected, she came into our home one evening around 9:30 pm in a state of trauma accompanied with A LOT of tears. Jacob, who is in fifth grade now, and Christopher, who is in third grade now, couldn't go to sleep because they heard her being extremely upset and crying in her room. I went in to check on both boys about an hour after she arrived and they were both affected by her sadness. Chris told me that he knew how she felt and he remembered feeling like she felt right then. As I wrapped my arms around him, he shared with me that night about how he remembered and connected with some of the sadness she was feeling to the sadness he felt his first night in our home. In the next few days, he was able to tell our little foster girl that he understood her sadness and that it would not always feel so sad for her. I was amazed at how a ten year old boy had the courage and words to offer her in a time of such great need. As our boys got to know her more over the coming months, I watched as they were able to offer her comfort and encouragement from their story in ways that Dan and I never could. It is something almost too impossible to put into words, except by saying that it is beautiful thing to witness God working in your own children's lives as they share with others about the comfort and healing they have found. We have a front row seat to see God transforming their story into one of redemption and beginning to allow them to share it as a source of hope to others.
We also saw another small glimpse of God's work of healing and redemption in our older son's heart on the service day at the DSS office in Laurens County. After a few hours of working there, Dan asked both boys if they would pray with him for the people who work and come to that office that week. Jacob, our 11 year old, prayed the most sincere prayer. He prayed a simple prayer, but they were words that we will remember forever. Jacob's prayer was, "God, please help the boys and girls who come here to not be so scared."
Jacob has that feeling of being so scared inside the DSS office etched in his memory forever. He understands what the uncertainty of being in that place feels like for those children. Both of our boys can remember going for visitations with their birth parents inside walls similar to the ones at the Laurens County DSS office and leaving not knowing when or if they would see their birth mom and dad again. Now, looking back, while Jacob and Chris likely can't put words to this yet, they are learning that we serve a God who is faithful and has taken great care of them in the midst of all those days of sadness, uncertainty and feeling scared. Jacob prayed a prayer of peace and protection over those children who would experience the same things he once did in the coming days. We believe he prayed it out of a confidence knowing that God is who He says He is. He is the One who is able to give these children peace beyond their understanding. God promises to protect and take care of them.
It is times like both of these that reminds me why we do what we do. It is also times like these that provide me with the assurance that God can work redemption and restoration in ALL circumstances. When we are in the middle of them, we often can't see or feel God at work, but He is. It has been such an incredible journey to learn these truths right alongside of our children. We see them growing and also witness how God is using their story to help others. We couldn't be more grateful for our fostering and adoption journey. While it has definitely brought difficult days into our lives, it has also brought many joy filled days. Without this journey, I don't think my faith would have grown in the ways it has. And most definitely without it, our boys wouldn't be our adoptive sons and have a story that only the Great Author of Life could write. He is writing a beautiful story in which they are already able to begin telling about God's faithful work in their lives. All Glory be to God!
